Each morning I get up and get going. Before Lydia is up, I’ve worked-out (hopefully), packed the lunches, showered, made lean shakes, keurig brewed coffee and kissed Justin goodbye. Then it’s time to go scoop up my little princess from her bed.
Lately, she “requests” that I sit down by her crib and slowly pull each of her blankets (4) out from the rungs of her crib. She often “requests” that I pull her out this way too, which of course doesn’t work and she finds my effort to try very amusing. This has become a routine, like so many other morning rituals that must be done before I get to work.
There are times I feel myself struggling with conflicting feelings: We have to keep going so that we won’t be late … vs. …I want to snuggle with my little girl while I can!
Each morning I play a little guessing game as to which items Lydia will want to bring along in the car. Today she helped me shove my bedspread into the washer and decided that her blankets needed to go in as well. I knew this was probably a bad idea.
“Aren’t you going to want your blankets in the car?”
“No mommy, wash.”
Okay, I put them in the washer, Lord knows a wash would not hurt them. Then two minutes later, quite literally, she is distraught in her car seat, wanting those very same blankets. As I mentioned, she has four blankets. I did NOT throw all four into the washer, that would have been silly. But Lydia doesn’t want those two, she wants the two in the washer. (ARRRRGGG!!!)
“Mommy will go see if they got wet yet,” I tell her.
No luck. They are already soaked. Stupid efficient washer! 😉
Tears stream down my little princess’ face and I’m feel awful, because deep down, I knew this could happen. I also take a deep breath (the first of many to come for the day) I tell her it will be okay, and I wait for the storm to subside as we head out of the garage.
Before long she’s settled down. She is pointing out manure trucks in the fields and I’m relieved that she will no longer be in tears when I drop her off at daycare.
I love my baby. I squeeze her so tight when I get her out of the Terrain. She brings her baby in with her, because she’s my sweet little mommy. Now she’s acting like a big girl and suddenly I’m sad. I want her to cling to me, to wish me to never leave her side, but instead, she’s ready to see Miss Chloe (one of her fabulous teachers who I’m only slightly jealous of … lol). Lydia reaches up for one last hug, her arms wrap around my neck so tight and I hope that she knows how much I love her.
It’s hard to leave your child with anyone else. You want to be with them every moment. You’re telling yourself you are doing the right thing. You hope that you are.