Thoughts about Lydia · Uncategorized

To Dream … When Mommies Don’t Get to Sleep Anymore …

Being a mom (or dad) means that you will occasionally or frequently lose sleep. Tell you something you don’t know, right? I’ve only been a mom for nearly three years, but I can already imagine how I still won’t sleep well once Lydia is a teen. I’ve also always been a lucky mom (so far)… Continue reading To Dream … When Mommies Don’t Get to Sleep Anymore …

Thoughts about Lydia · Time for Mommy · Uncategorized

Take Joy in Your Creativity

I recently caught the end of the movie, Joy, on HBO … twice … two times, I saw the last hour… Finally I had some”Lydia is napping” time on my hands, so I decided that I needed to see it from the beginning, and currently it’s playing on demand through HBO. Usually movies make me… Continue reading Take Joy in Your Creativity

Loss · Thoughts about Lydia · Uncategorized

When Grief Shows Up

A few weeks ago, I posted a blog about how Lydia not only repeats what we say now, but she also knows how to use the words and when they’ll make sense in a situation … super scary sometimes! In fact, the other day when she wanted some ice cream cake before dinner, I politely told her no, and then she informed me, “Mommy, you impossible!” She’s learned to say a lot of other things too, in fact sometimes I have to say, “What did you just say?” and I prepare myself for the worst, but other times I smile, because I know she got something from me.

This week I was planning to tell you about my cookie making fun with Lydia, but as our subconscious often does, I was given a different issue to think about this morning. I awoke from a dream in which my sister had died in a car accident, however, in the dream, I was continuing to go on with what I had to do, getting ready to workout for the day and knowing that I’d have to go to work soon. In my dream I questioned how I could still go to work when I’d just lost my sister? Then I woke up, and I remembered, I’d already lost my sister, and then I felt horrible. It was easier in the dream, the reality this morning, was simply a rude reminder of the grief I buckle down each day.

Grief can show up in a lot of ways, it can be a song that reminds you of your loved one. Maybe something you, your family and friends picked out specifically for your loved one’s calling hours, and then out of the blue one day, that song is playing on your radio, and you let that grief come to you. You let yourself tear up or ball. Afterward, you do feel better, you took that time to accept your sorrow.

It could be something someone says. Perhaps they are sharing a special memory of the one you lost. Or perhaps they say something inappropriate that you will have to carry in your own heart now, but that will be okay too. You will learn to wrap yourself in their memories as well. You will learn to keep all of the memories and words from others in a special place in your heart and soul..

Lately, if Lydia spills her snack or juice or you know … anything and makes a mess … I might find myself getting rather upset. “Why did you do that Lydia?” And she will calmly reply, “It’s okay Mommy!” She’ll remind me that it isn’t worth crying over spilled milk. That life is full of little ups and downs. I know she gets that one from me.

There are many times in life when we must simply say, “It’s Okay.”

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel that pain and let it eat you up … for a little while. It’s okay to share how you feel with a friend or someone you trust. It’s okay to drown yourself in a memory for a while. Just be stronger when you get back up. Don’t let that feeling stay too long. Wrap it up and put it away. The person you love would want you to remember, but they’d also want you to celebrate the rest of the wonderful day you’ve been given.

Your grief will get lighter, your memories will stay, and you will be okay. What more can we ask for? So for a little while today, I know that dream will make me sad, but I’m not going to let it keep me in a gray puddle. I still showed up for my A.M. workout, despite feeling less than positive, I’m going to get my little girl up in a little while, and hug her extra tight. I’m going to envelope myself in happy thoughts and let my passing tears roll away. I suggest the same to you.

Being stronger than you were yesterday, doesn’t merely apply to weights and miles run. It applies to your heart and mind. Start today strong. It will be okay.

 

Thoughts about Lydia · Uncategorized

Sick Day with Lydia

Right now I’m getting to write to you, because my little Lydia is sleeping soundly during her nap. If you’re a parent, then you know how sacred this time is. First I had to spend some of this time cleaning up, then I graded essays, and now I’m doing my other “Tuesday” thing to do,… Continue reading Sick Day with Lydia

Thoughts about Lydia · Uncategorized

The Library, Lydia and Me

All summer I told myself: get your library card renewed! Lydia loves new books and I remembered how much I enjoyed going to the library as a kid. (I still love to go ❤ ) And so finally, a few weeks ago after school, I picked up Lydia and took her to our town library.… Continue reading The Library, Lydia and Me

Thoughts about Lydia

Kiddie Pool & Playground DAZE

If your a mommy (or daddy) with a little one this summer in western NY, then I’m pretty sure you’ve been taking advantage of this beautiful weather too, perhaps by taking your little one(s) to your local park or playground. (Did I say beautiful? I meant sweltering hot why the heck didn’t I let my… Continue reading Kiddie Pool & Playground DAZE

Inspiring Mom · Thoughts about Lydia · Time for Mommy

How Accountability Makes You Healthier

I have given Beachbody some serious thought ever since I saw several friends, including Sara, posting her progress on FB over a year ago. At the time, I wasn’t certain if I was ready to commit being healthy (and paying for it), however, there is one thing that I’ve discovered since beginning this blog, and it’s… Continue reading How Accountability Makes You Healthier